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  • Writer's pictureBrother Jeremy

Move Over Syria, Yemen, and Belarus. Why Hating Israel is In!

Updated: Oct 25, 2022

Boomers might remember the Vietnam War, especially if they were dodge drafters who fled to Canada. Instead of having to be productive in society, progressivism became a vocation in itself, seeking to smash everything that was “out of date”. Since Jews are quite out of fashion-even reading a book over 5k years-they are first on our list. While it used to be taboo to rag on the Jews, today’s world allows unbridled criticism of the Zionist Enterprise. Just a brief caveat before we go any further; make sure that you target Israel as a nation, not that people that live there. You see, “good Jews'' will grant us legitimacy, solidying ourselves as those “on the correct side of history”. While most Jews are “cursed” there remains a special remnant that will serve as our mouthpiece. In other words, our politics sound much more “nuanced” and “reasonable” when they come out of the lips of a Jew or Jewess. (Can I erase this? I meant Israeli).

If you are a D grade academic, look no further in your pursuit of a worthy cause. Throw your literature texts in the trash and take up Saul Aulisky’s “Rules for Radicals”, “Mein Kumpt” or “Brokeback Mountain”. Each will appeal to your unique hipster image, leaving just the necessary vintage t-shirt and cream sneakers.

Ok, so we have now established that you want to use Israel as your obsession, at least in your oppositional position to the Jewish State. You might get accused of being a “Zionist Operative” so be sure to show your progressive credentials.

zionism, pro israel, funny, jewish joke, funny joke, jerusalem,

Examples include (but are not limited to):

  1. Your membership card from the United Church of Canada, LPC, or NDP (assuming you are Canadian.)

  2. Suggesting a fuel tax (to save the environment) while owning an airplane.

  3. Your premium subscription to CNN or MSNBC.

  4. AOC’s used socks.

  5. Stating all your pronouns, changing them throughout a 5 minute discussion.

  6. Your poster of Rachel Corrie.

  7. Pink table cloth style scarf.

  8. Your desire to never have children.

  9. Your view that your ideology will be your legacy, better than grandchildren.

  10. Dressing up as Palestinian Abraham (or Jesus).

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